It’s been a little less than a month since I’ve come to know that I am Autistic. In that short period of time I have learned what “masking” or camouflaging is: artificially ‘performing’ social behavior that is deemed to be more ‘neurotypical’ or hiding behavior that might be viewed as socially unacceptable. / The motivations for masking symptoms of autism includes fitting in and increasing connections with others. And I’m laughing because my resilient and clever ass has been making up my own set of social rules for quite some time, almost intuitively. A system operating within my brain like this needs a name…and I shall call it: “Intuitive Resiliency”
It’s a word I can use to name my ability; as it pertains to the intersections of my Autism and my C-PTSD; to consciously change my behaviors / experience with my outside environment. Intuitive resiliency is and has been my saving grace in appearing socially acceptable and ultimately perpetuating less ‘harm’ within my communities. I’ve been doing this my whole life without knowing that I’m actually masking in a heap of different ways for my Autism. So looking back as I know it now, with this specific rule I was intuitively masking my Autistic inability to recognize faces.
Pausing for a moment to acknowledge ones abilities to alter the fabrication of a lizard brain …and the unique ability to curate survival skills. It is in these pauses that I find my power, for I am still establishing my own sense of self-worth [...]
📸 Non-Binary person wearing a dark hoodie, denim jacket and headphones stares hopefully at the sky. Background is a red and yellow flower mural.
